I Can't Make You Like Me, If You Don't

Have you ever liked someone that didn't like you back? Okay, I can hear the resounding, "Yes" out there. Well, surprisingly, even as I near the big 3-0, the feelings of someone NOT liking you back stings just as much as it did when I was 13. Not too long ago, I had the tough experience of hearing the punching words..."I'm not interested in you." When those words slowly make it to your ears, it knocks you out cold. It's a blow to the ego and a blow to the heart. The sounds of "why can't you like me? and "what's wrong with me?" starts echoing in my head. As the stars that circle around my head start to fade, I'm puzzled as to why I put myself out there, especially when I know that I'm way in over my head.

So after the one-two punch, I just want to shrug my shoulders and say, "whatevers, man!", but, I know, even my cavalier attitude cannot stop me from feeling disappointed and bummed about myself. There's apart of me that thinks a well choreographed song and dance might change that person's mind. I secretly think maybe he'll see all my awesome skillz and then he'll like me. It might work, right?

Even in my wishful thinking, I know that becoming the next winner of American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance, cannot make someone like me. It's the sobering truth and the bad and bummed feelings do not go away as easily as I would like them to. Despite my disappointment, I do see a silver lining to this little gray cloud. I'm slowly learning that even when a dude doesn't like me, it's not a reflection of who I am or my value as a woman. I'm on a seriously slow learning curve, but, I think, I'm finally getting it.