No One's Bi-otch!

So I have this fear of being someone's bi-otch or being a sucka, door mat, push over, etc... You get the picture, right? Some say that I need not worry about this possibility, but I beg to differ. Sometimes I get real angry when I feel the like I am becoming someone's bi-otch. It's when I go out of my way to do things for people and care for people that I shouldn't. So because of this fear I have this uber aggressive way about me that some masochist may like, but most would probably defer. Actually, I would like to defer this part about myself, but then the question is, "HOW?" I have to say that it aint that easy to just drop it like it's hot and be chill with everything.

I guess, I can go to the root of the problem, which stems from my child labor days. Since I was young I remember working hard for my parent's love, especially my dad's. I worked really hard, yet I couldn't quite meet the standard. Usually, I'll take that extra step, so that I can get that love/approval/acceptance that I've been wanting, but it never happened and it still hasn't happened. Regretfully, I even did some overtime, but it was mostly in vain. So now that I'm a grown up, I start to go bonkers when I feel like that little kid, especially when it comes to men. I hope that I can somehow NOT see the world this way, but I have a feeling that it'll take sometime. In the meantime, I really want to use my powers for good and not for evil.