Dream Catcher

Less than a week ago I had this obscure dream about this boy I used to totally like in college. I guess, you can say that he was my first puppy love. I'm not sure why the subconscious throws out these curve balls by tapping into "that" place of deep emotion, longing, and desire. I seriously want to snap my fingers, shake my head and say, "No, you didn't!", but what's the point.

My dream was not even at the caliber of a B-rated film, but a silent picture clip of my covert desires that I don't think about. Juicy stuff, huh? After dreaming about puppy love boy I was thinking to myself, "what's going on?". I won't bore you with the uneventful details of my dream, but I will tell you what I felt during my dream and after my dream. It was the combo of fear and longing.

For me, fear and longing tend to couple quite often. I fear the things I long for and sometimes I choose not to long, because of the fear. Yikes, sounds like I need some help. Some may ask why I fear, and the answer is I fear, because bad things have happened when I long for someone. Dude, I guess, I am the sum of my experience. Hmmm...

So I dream not about a person per se, but of a hidden desire that decided to leak out of my subconscious and into my dreams. Maybe this is a sign that it's high time I leave the fear behind or maybe it's a sign that says I don't have to fear anymore. Not sure what it means, but I hope that I can find someone who knows how to catch my dream, before it goes away again.