You Don't Know My Name

Alicia Keys has this cheesy yet good song called, "You Don't Know My Name". I feel like singing it to today, because I just realized that this guy that I was crushing on doesn't know me. He may know my name, but if I were to do a spin off of Alicia's song I would call it, "You Don't Know Me". This fresh realization begs the question, "How could have I crushed on someone that doesn't even know me?" How can I give my affections out so easily to someone that said point blank to my face, "I'm not interested in you.". How could I continue to hope and wait when he doesn't even know me and I don't know him?

These are all tough questions. I'll have to do some soul searching to find some answers. Perhaps, it's easy for me to forgot my own name, and not ask what his name is? Anonymity, mystery, and enigma have the lure for all types of trouble. I guess, I just got sucked into the world of fantasy and safety. I feel disappointed in myself for allowing myself to go there..... you know there-where you suspend your mind, ration, intelligence, opinions, so that one person can like you. Yes, folks, I'm not immune to the woes of compromising myself. I don't do it too often, I hope, but it does happen.

I'm on a slow learning curve, but, at least, I'm learning. I hope that I don't go back to that fantasy trap, because the consequence is losing apart of myself that I've worked so painstakingly hard to develop and grow. I hope, I come to a place where I won't forget my name and all that it stands for.